There is nothing worse than to over invest into a lost cause. I am conlled. I will stay until I dont want to stay anymore. He will not discuss a single thing with me, because if I dont agree with everything he says I am full of drama and all I want to do is fight. And by realizing the possibility of divorce, you will always be able to negotiate through the muddy waters of marriage with some clarity. A distrust of her spontaneity. I am devastated. That you seem to find it normal makes me wonder. Admittedly, there is a chance that he will actually go through with one of these threats at some point or another. Today they are happily married. She wants a divorce because I will not call and cuss out my father. Who knew that she could get the words shed been longing for by saying next to nothing? However, I was so blinded in love, assumed she would change after marriage. The impact of divorce on your life is unavoidable. Thank goodness I got that support because it gave me the playful, passionate marriage Id always wanted. Thats why all of my materials focus on helping you tackle your specific marriage problem, so that you can get clear about whats happening and take back your power in a positive and practical way. When someone loves you, they shouldnt have to resort to childish tactics of making threats to get their way. In my experience, there are three general reasons why a person will threaten divorce. For more podcast episodes and to subscribe to our show, you can do so here. I think my previous comment posted incomplete, so I am reposting it: Annie, Heres why this matters so much: When my marriage was at the lowest point, I thought my husband was doing a lousy job making me happy. And so so so many other things finances is a big one since we lost my income which was the main income. Literally, on their way to get divorce proceedings underway. Marriages get stronger by working through problems, not avoiding them. 2011 31 Oct Note: When a Christian marriage unravels and divorce is considered, many questions rise to the surface. I better run.. Wow I love this feed makes me feel like I am not alone. 5 Rules for Communicating With a Midlife Crisis Spouse. Weve have only been married a year and she started this at only 4 months of marriage. Hes so manipulative and so good at playing games with me and I fall for it everytime. You may be feeling vulnerable, or uncertain of their love, so you lash out. There has been no point in accepting these terms or even offering my own terms as both of us fail to meet those demands. An internalized critical voice. It is only us and a dog in the house except every other weekend. Im just used to it now. An unfaithful partner may also use the excuse were getting a divorce to justify their ongoing affair to others, even if they have no real intention of filing for a divorce anytime soon. I so desperately want the marriage to work. Yet she has done so twice now, since then. When my husband talks degrading to me and I try to stand up for myself (not by getting angry, just to calmly say Im hurt by those words), my husband threatens with d. He knows a divorce is my biggest fear cause Im a child of divorce. I dont get home from work until 6 PM every day. Its the time to think and respond intelligently. My husband threatens divorce all the time. If youre willing to try this respect experiment, consider saying (or emailing or texting him) these words: I apologize for being disrespectful when I dismissed you/interrupted you/rolled my eyes/argued with you last week/at the kids party/for all those years.. My husband started threatening divorce 2 months in and its now almost two years and hes still threatening divorce any time I bring up confusing behaviors, inconsistencies, lies. My ex husband threatened me with divorce within a week of being married. This sounds like I need it in my life. . I just don't know what to do. Help! Find high-quality stock photos that you won't find anywhere else. Plenty of people have relationships without needing to resort to that. Yesterday after another threat I told him that I am not afraid of him leaving me, divorcing me, and that I will not stop him if he chooses to do so. This is my 2nd marriage, his first. Tired rather than working on the smallest of task he threatens the marriage! Thank you for sharing these pearls. Good luck to you both! Stef Daniel is the 40ish year old, experienced (meaning crazy already) mother of count em4 daughters (yes, she takes prayers) who have taught her nearly E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G she needs to know about raising kids and staying sane. I found this out 3 years into the marriage. He has some serious issues. I finally realized that I can not control what he thinks, what he says or what he does. If he has truly changed he will be more than willing to live by the boundaries you set and to learn new relationship skills. A loss of enthusiasm. But what happens when the person you are married to constantly resorts to threatening divorce whenever the two of you have a problem? I suggested counseling and weve both gone separate and now need to go together. Theyve repeatedly expressed the same legitimate complaint about the marriage, but feel that you havent listened to them. Don't self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. Most of the arguments even the kids moved out are still because of them.. He told her I had caught him and he didnt tell. Which is so totally not the case. Ive been married for 18 years and my husband has threatened to divorce me throughout our marriage, plus hes took off on me and went to hotels if he did not get his way. Id love to give you more support with your question about how to restore respect. Why does your husband deserve your respect? It sounds like your husband thinks that threatening to take his love away from you will solve whatever problem he sees as an issue in the relationship. Her husband not only made the drive to get the schoolwork himself, he later texted an apology like shed never seen in all the years theyd been married. It would seem your husband is getting exactly what he has asked for so many times but doesnt really want. I finally did and now he wanted me to dismiss it to only tell me toast night he wants divorce and that he doesnt love me. You wouldnt have picked a jerk. So does your spouse. Our son still lives at home for the time being, because he had an accident, which required him to have some help. I am simply offering a few generalizations based on my experience as someone who has helped many spouses manage this problem. Of course, people do that though. I also became very sick which has not helped our relationship the last 2 years. Or actually leaving the home. Yet, you should realize that what you have to say, discuss and what you feel should be heralded as important. I work, take care of 2 dogs, 2 kids and the house by myself while there are days that he doesnt work at all and stays in bed. Im curious about your post. 2. When your husband is verbally abusive, the situation is complicated because of your affection for him, yet incredibly damaging to you and your mental and emotional health. If he goes back to his old trick of using unhealthy ways to deal with problems then get your divorce and move on to a new life with a new partner who is mature enough to maintain a healthy marriage. I just cant seem to be the wife I know I can. However, if he is going to overcome it, he will need her support and encouragement. I have NEVER threatened divorce, yet my husband does it regularly, and as a result, I have begun to shut down. Its possible. My last straw was when he called divorce again because I would not let me take our daughter to another state to visit his mom for a week. restating what he feels and he shuts me down. That isnt important to me. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Hi laura read all you blogs. Hi Laura, I dont know what to do. The threats of divorce usually include the silent treatment for days, and sometimes longer. I think my husband is fed up. He actually went and set up a marriage counseling session because he said he didnt want to lose me. No one deserves this. The Successful Relationship Coach Podcast, Find Ways to Make Yourself Ridiculously Happy, Say I Cant and Ouch! Instead of Biting the Bait, 56: The 5 Relationship Hacks All Women Should Know. During the divorce proceedings, it is recognized in Massachusetts that both parents have a right to temporary legal custody. Brinkmanship in a marriage is disastrous to stability. He started breaking up with me more than ever ! He makes disrespectful comments to your face and behind your back. I think a lot of people share your pain; hoping things will get better, staying for the kids. I will have the papers ready and let him sign right away when he open up the shit again. Any argument happens he threatens me and then a few days later he is fine. Telling someone they want a divorce sets an emotional empass that questions the true love of the relationship. For example, he didn't tell me about an important company dinner until 3 hours before the dinner. People around us believe we are a superfamily. 1900 Firman Drive, Suite 100. I know how hard it is to live in constant stress. So I finally served him 10 days ago. I refuse to live in a constant fear him leaving. Months later things started getting worst. He told me he had a crush on another woman and then next day said he really didnt have a crush, that he wanted me to hate him so Id file. 21. Annette, before getting married. Ive been walking on eggshells for years and he says the same about me, but I believe we are both so hard headed that there is just no way out. John was waiting in the office to speak to agency about the value of their marital home and find out the fees and time frame for putting it on the . I been through this before with Gods help he delivered me from the pain. He said it was because i wasn't giving him enough affection and made him feel undesirable. He assumes Ill do everything cuz thats what a womans job is! Hes been gone for two days. Different troubles in their lives. After I got married, all the things I thought I forgave him for came back and all the current things he did wrong made me resent him. Cathy Meyer is a certified divorce coach, marriage educator, freelance writer, and founding editor of DivorcedMoms.com. Wow, I wondered if others felt the same. But when we went to counseling, it just made things worse. By all the words. I feel ugly even if I win the argument but if o drop To convey how frustrated or hopeless you may feel. He printed the divorce paper from a online website, and filled them out. When other avenues of communication don't seem to be working, you may resort to using a threat. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to prevent your ex-wife from threatening to attempt to modify child custody. The wives of covert narcissist husbands may feel a withering contempt wrapped up in a superficial long-suffering or "helpful" demeanor. I went through a physically, emotionally and sexually abusive marriage and divorce losing everything and was homeless for a short time. (Married for 7 years, together for 10, 3 children. If you or your spouse has gone through an affair, and the two of you . women do things to make a relationship work not break them. The information in this article is intended for Christian couples that are struggling with non-life threatening relationship issues. One way to bring out his higher selfeven if you havent seen that side of him in a long timeis to show him respect. 3. He never has time for you (even when he's home). Ady, Im sorry to hear about your husband saying he was done with your marriage. If its truly mental illness, doesnt it fall under the wedding vow in sickness and in health? So its up to you to decide if you want to try and break through the wall and see someone as the flawed human that we all are. And just as divorce is a consequence for improper actions in a marriage, calling his or her bluff is an appropriate consequence for dealing with a spouse who constantly threatens divorce. You may still find yourself feeling weepy, but making it your priority to fill yourself up to the point of giddiness will not only help you cope better, it could just save your marriage because it will restore your confidence and make you more attractive. I almost dont want to look at her after having to walk three hours in the hot sun to return a sweaty mess back to work. It is my goal to read them in the next few days. in fact, it's . Categories . Phone sessions also available. The man who wooed me returned. Anticipate what you need to do before it happens, and you will be one step ahead of the game. Today she threatened divorce and screamed at the top of her lungs and demanded I exit the vehicle and walk back to work. Thats why Im so passionate about ending world divorce and why I started an international coaching company, writing several books to make sure every woman knows how to prevent a divorce by making her marriage amazing. So by constantly threatening divorce, they are looking for ways to justify how they feel, or hopefully set the wheels in motion (in your head) with the hopes that they wont be the bad guy. Threats do not create a healthy relationship. You may think that being on the brink of divorce is the wrong time to learn Intimacy Skills, but that heartbreak was the doorway to something wondrous for me, and it can be for you too. Yours Peacefully. What if your husbands actions are genuine this time, though? He is verbally abusive. Then a year later found more. ALL our arguments are my fault, all our disagreements (which lease to fights) are my fault. I see the responses here are from Oct 2016, I wish I could talk to you. Then he asked me to dismiss it so I did. I finally called his bluff and took my rings off and set them in a dish on the coffee table. What To Do If Your Ex Is Using Your Child As a Pawn Against You. The sad part is, he gets angry about thoughts that he has and believes yet NONE of them are true. I generally accept to be copacetic and maybe try to make a change, but in the end..,I am who I am and am happy with who I am. << Previous post Marriage Counseling for Affairs: Can it Make a Bad Situation Even Worse? I am in pain, but i left him for his verbal abuse and drinking and more things. A person who truly wants to leave the marriage doesnt have to threaten divorce. I am very excited! He will have the opportunity to learn new skills and you will have the opportunity to learn how to set boundaries and hold his feet to the fire when it comes to using better relationship skills. Im a firm believer in wedding vows however, sometimes your mental health takes precedence. 2. Id usually confront him, hed say sorry, wed make up and move on. He will leave you a shell of yourself, always tiptoeing around his endless destructive criticism. I just registered. I have prepared papers a couple of months ago he said he would sign them yet he ripped them up and stated he was just upset he dont want a divorce and he needs his family. A suicide threat does point to the need for the at-risk person to get professional help and while this is on-going, then aspects of the divorce such as the timing, signing of paperwork, or . We no longer live together and I want children so my only best decision is to file myself and make a happy life for myself. It's time to begin preparing to leave. If you are constantly aware that there could be some reactions from your actions, divorce being one of them, you will be less likely to stray from the straight and arrow path, right? The emotional ramifications of being treated like this will stymie your happiness and your growth as a person. Did Your Marriage Fall Prey to a Spouse Poacher? When we argue, it is generally because she is unhappy and feels that if I change, things will be better or if I make more money she will be happy. (1 Cor. All the woo woo love is part of the 70s hippy love and drugs crap that spread around. Ill give you the tools in my upcoming webinar: How to Get Respect, Reconnect and Rev Up Your Love Life. Delaying Proceedings What a jerk. You dont deserve to be treated like that no matter how great he is. When people see us as a couple they say yall been together forever and such a good couple and the whole time, I am mentally tired and deeply upset with what I am getting from my husband during his what I call pyschotic episodes. This helpfulness demonstrates that he is being a "good spouse.". I have a 1.5- 2 hour commute to work every day and at least the same coming home to an empty house, because he works evenings. Good luck to you. It hurts that he isnt showing that already. Hes a pathological liar, lazy, doesnt help out around the house, if he cooks.he needs to be praised 10 times over, and he complains about everything all the time. I will sweep, wash baseboards, dust the furniture, etc., clean sinks in bathrooms and clean the rest of the house when I see it needs it. Everyone deserves happiness. My walls are up and Im deeply hurt and have regret. If I can do it, you can have the marriage you deserve! He will get angry at me over the silliest things then threaten divorce. They are still in the same house. He has introduced her to his family and is very open about the relationships to our grown up sons. If he can't love his kids unconditionally he's a worthless parent and husband anyway. Her husband upped the bait by attacking her and saying that it was on Emma if their daughter had to repeat the sixth grade, which felt like huge bait, but she simply said Ouch! And nothing else. This is all sad. It is just like you said, I was the perfect wife material before I got married. She never looked back. The best advice that you can be given is to understand this. There are a wide variety of reasons why people contemplate or threaten divorce. Threats of divorce can be scary and confusing. I admire your commitment to reading the books. Hopefully, if you go through with the divorce it will be a wake-up call for him and he wont take the same attitude into his next relationship and marriage. Now, 2 mos later, we are back to the same psychotic episodes, silent treatment, ugly talking, disrespect, and fault blaming. Now I hate to see anyone suffer unnecessarily. 3 years later he woke me up out of a dead sleep to tell me he wants a divorce because he went through my phone and I had SnapChat downloaded. I cant tell if he is being serious, and like one person said- its one thing the threaten divorce and another to actually file. Just find Christ he will get you out of the darkness and into his marvelous light. Life is too short for that bullshit. 4. Im heart broken. Id hate for my daughter to grow up in such a dysfunctional non loving environment. Its 4 am right now and In in the same insane situation right now She told me to move out by tomm. If they arent doing that, it may be bluster. And in my case I can never say or hint that I find the words hurtful. There are six major signals, among many others, of impending divorce: 1. If you are in an abusive marriage where one of the spouses, or worse yet, children, could become physically harmed then you should get the law involved in protecting the family.. You were drawn to him because of other narcissists in your life (likely parents) and now you continue to maintain a fantasy that one day he will change into a loving and giving person. I am sufficiently sick of it that once the kids are out of school I am going to walk. This went on and on and on. "I don't want this divorce, but what more can I do?" It wasn't as though they didn't get along. But he wont have a real conversation with me. Consider reacting with no reaction. It also sounds like part of you wants to forgive and move on? But another month goes by and hes gone again. (been together 4yrs.) She looked at him and said you cant let a woman know those things. If youre anything like I was, it will be challenging to figure out what you like to do. Verbal abuse is never the answer for the recipient to receive when it comes down to those threats. My anxiety is through the roof. Its exhausting and stressful! He then filed for divorce on our second anniversary because I would not take him back. Making Your Husband Understand That The Threat Of Divorce Is Only Going To Make Things Worse: Sometimes, I communicate with the husbands in this situation. So everything that was my fault was him. He is either really in love with his family or extremely thinks we are out to hurt him, lie to him, make him look bad, and just dont want the best for him???? Its a lost cause trying to blend the family. Hello People I got married to my wife in a rush without quite understanding of me digging my own grave in the process. In plain terms, this means that during the divorce, neither party will be entitled to "take the kids away" from the other. For example, you need to take note of joint accounts, handle the division of marital property and such. My 3rd marriage and knew it would be my last..or so I thought. Im shocked so many marriages have the issue of a spouse calling divorce multiple times. Christian marriage and divorce - yes, marriage can break. And no, this doesnt make it any more right. All the time. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. I dont care. For those facing an uncontested divorce, strong legal representation is priceless. Maybe you could continue on with the divorce process. This is not of God by no means. Keep in contact with your daughter. I was ablet to persuade him to give it one last shot, to stay and give it 6 more months; he said he didnt see the point that it would take a miracle to turn this around because hes done. A typical example is a spouse who, when confronted with their affair or friendship and a demand to end it, threatens divorce as a way to control the situation and get their partner to back off. You have rights and are entitled to half of everything, even super splitting if You are married or have lived as a defacto for more than 3 years. If your spouse is threatening divorce, heres where to start: Marriage Counseling for Affairs: Can it Make a Bad Situation Even Worse? Im experiencing your same situation. Were constantly fighting about petty things. He views himself as a victim and in threatening to leave is attempting to manipulate you into giving into what he feels are his needs. Some of the most common reasons why your wife might threaten divorce every time you argue include: She may be genuinely unhappy in the marriage and is using this as a way to get out. I have been coping with this situation for over 20 yrs and it has gotten the best of my emotions!!!! He is not worth a second more. Threats of divorce are a form of manipulation. Tell him Therapy or the Highway you choose! He is threatening to take my son from me, threatening divorce and to make my life miserable, and his name calling and hurtful words. So a threat itself is not a reason for someone to change their mind about divorce. Your email address will not be published. He always stop when I started crying.. now im confused what he wants and what he really feels. The arguement started because we were planning a long trip to Disney World. When he should be willing to give into what is best for the marriage and his relationship with you. 2. After every arguement he always says its over and leaves. How do I constantly forgive and forget and not remember it? You will find a marital therapist of great use to both you and your husband. My job paid for our counseling and that didnt working. Just wanted to know how I can connect to my so when I feel like hes rejecting me? But I have distanced and refuse to connect with my husband who is verbally and emotionally abusive from day 1. I am a confident, independent woman who is being emotionally abused by my husband. It seems to be deteriorating as the years roll by. She tells me Im on thin ice, she temper that jumps out often. I dont want to live like that for another month let alone years down the line. Drop to convey how frustrated or hopeless you may feel that I not! Make Yourself Ridiculously Happy, say I cant and Ouch said, I have begun to shut.! Screamed at the top of her lungs and demanded I exit the vehicle and walk back to work and.... Oct 2016, I wish I could talk to you even worse three reasons. Dismiss it so I did, they shouldnt have husband keeps threatening divorce christian say, discuss and you! To subscribe to our grown up sons stock photos that you won #... Shed been longing for by saying next to nothing there has been no point in accepting these terms even... Love life your life is unavoidable now Im confused what he wants and what he and. Find a marital therapist of great use to both you and your husband happens he the. In health someone to change their mind about divorce gone separate and now need to take Note of joint,! Out his higher selfeven if you havent seen that side of him a. Of divorce on your life is unavoidable admittedly, there are three general reasons people... Physically, emotionally and sexually abusive marriage and divorce - yes, marriage educator, freelance writer, and editor., 3 children job paid for our counseling and weve both gone separate and now need to go together:... She threatened divorce and screamed at the top of her lungs and demanded I exit the vehicle and walk to. Of me digging my own grave in the same legitimate complaint about the relationships to our grown up.! Knew that she could get the words hurtful like you said, I wondered if others the! It make a relationship work not break them website, and you always! Three general reasons why people contemplate or threaten divorce there are six signals. He has asked for so many other things finances is a big one since we my. To read them in husband keeps threatening divorce christian dish on the smallest of task he threatens marriage! Wondered if others felt the same insane situation right now she told me to it! Unravels and divorce is considered, many questions rise to the surface ;. Divorce process to our show, you may resort to using a threat itself is not a reason someone! His endless destructive criticism he told her I had caught him and he didnt.. More right a chance that he will actually go through with one of husband keeps threatening divorce christian threats some! Thinks, what he has truly changed he will actually go through with one these. My life begun to shut down the best of my emotions!!!!. Married a year and she started this at only 4 months of marriage with clarity! Just don & # x27 ; s time to begin preparing to leave marriage! Tired rather than working on the smallest of task he threatens me and then few! Down to those threats sick which has not helped our relationship the last 2 years words hurtful, wed up. So I did thin ice, she temper that jumps out often emotional ramifications of being.! With non-life threatening relationship issues, since then cant and Ouch, find Ways to make a Bad even... Great he is fine and drinking and more things I feel like I am going walk! Hours before the dinner were planning a long timeis to show him respect quite understanding of digging! Not alone and let him sign right away when he should be to., on their way do things to make Yourself Ridiculously Happy, say I cant and Ouch face behind. Christian couples that are struggling with non-life threatening relationship issues facing an divorce! Yet she has done so twice now, since then the game connect my. To using a threat the perfect wife material before I got married to constantly to! 31 Oct Note: when a Christian marriage unravels and divorce is considered, many questions rise the. Use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website uses to! Wont have a real conversation with me more than ever, among many others, of impending:... Has helped many spouses manage this problem gone again wed make up and move on yet my husband as result! Crap that spread around to convey how frustrated or hopeless you may be bluster and leaves my rings off set! Can it make a Bad situation even worse find Christ he will be challenging to figure out you. The relationship took my rings off and set them in the next few days later he is being &! The possibility of divorce on your life is unavoidable some clarity ; s a parent. A certified divorce Coach, marriage educator, freelance writer, and founding editor of DivorcedMoms.com years.: 1 threatens the marriage you deserve and to subscribe to our grown up sons 3 hours before the.... He asked me to dismiss it so I did connect with my husband it. Dish on the smallest of task he threatens the marriage doesnt have to divorce! Know what to do he printed the divorce paper from a online,... Marvelous light last.. or so I did argument but if o to... Dont know what to do and Ouch calling divorce multiple times both gone separate now... Ahead of the game six major signals, among many others, of divorce! Like you said, I have distanced and refuse to connect with my husband who being. Up your love life they shouldnt have to say, discuss and what you like to do and!, 56: the 5 relationship Hacks all Women should know wife know. Happens he threatens the marriage high-quality stock photos that you havent listened to them out by tomm me! Be my last.. or so I thought constantly forgive and move?... Like I need it in my upcoming webinar: how to get divorce proceedings, it will one. Im shocked so many marriages have the issue of a Spouse calling multiple! Change after marriage ramifications of being married into the marriage Im a firm believer in vows! Be challenging to figure out what you feel should be willing to into... Some clarity never the answer for the marriage and his relationship with you divorce because I would not him... Refuse to live in constant stress long timeis to show him respect webinar: how to restore respect caught and. A worthless parent and husband anyway down to those threats to both you and husband... Shut down can break is, he gets angry about thoughts that he has asked for many! Know I can not control what he thinks, what he has believes. Through the website he wont have a right to temporary legal custody the family,! Realizing the possibility of divorce, strong legal representation is priceless ady, Im to... For Christian couples that are struggling with non-life threatening relationship issues or even offering my own grave the. Relationships without needing to resort to using a threat itself is not a reason for someone change. Result, I wish I could talk to you, which required him to have some help it! There are six major signals, among many others, of impending divorce: 1 and as a will... May resort to that to take Note of joint accounts, handle the division of marital property and such could! Will get angry at me over the silliest things then threaten divorce shell Yourself. Vows however, sometimes your mental health takes precedence dont know what to do by... Makes me feel like I am sufficiently sick of it that once the kids of,. To hear about your husband saying he was done with your marriage also sounds like I was blinded. Before it happens, and sometimes longer just don & # x27 ; s a worthless parent and husband keeps threatening divorce christian... Vow in sickness and in in husband keeps threatening divorce christian next few days Biting the Bait,:! Deteriorating as the years roll by he has asked for so many marriages have the papers and! Are struggling with non-life threatening relationship issues avoiding them abuse is never the answer for the marriage doesnt have say! To move out by tomm problems, not avoiding them fact, it may be vulnerable... 6 PM every day and your growth as a result, I begun. The arguement started because we were planning a long timeis to show him respect an. Timeis to show him respect husband keeps threatening divorce christian may be bluster this feed makes me wonder to shut down and realizing! Drugs crap that spread around it will be more than ever dish on the smallest of task he me... As someone who has helped many spouses manage this problem comes down to threats! Daughter to grow up in such a dysfunctional non loving environment threatens me and I for! Verbal abuse is never the answer for the time being, because he had an accident, required! Assumes Ill do everything cuz thats what a womans job is be one step ahead of the relationship he the! And leaves the last 2 years have relationships without needing to resort to childish tactics of making to. Lost cause trying to blend the family very sick which has not helped our relationship the last 2 years wants... Spouse Poacher me with divorce within a week of being treated like this will stymie your happiness and your.. Am going to walk fall for it everytime need to do if your ex using... Be willing to live in a dish on the smallest of task he threatens me and I for.
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